ever since my love you've heard echos in your head

Is anyone there?

2008-04-21T15:11:00.003+02:00

Can you hear my quiet prayer,
wishing you'd be somewhere there
Can you hear my gentle wish
praying you'll be hearing this <3

---

Oh, but you're so vain
you probably think this song is about you.

I'm gonna find myself someday.

2008-04-05T08:04:00.002+02:00

Cause I'm tired of looking for it today.

---

kick the dust undert the carpet first;
leave it on the floor for now, baby cause
I'm too tired to look for your love today.

close the cupboard doors for now;
don't touch it first, baby cause
I'm too tired to feel your love today.

Baby, can you hear me?
can you hear what you used to say to me,
and all that you promised?
Can you come tell it to me all over again
cause I can't remember the sweet taste of your voice in my heart.

push it behind the other photoframes;
don't take a look at it now, baby cause
You're too far away for me to feel your love today.

Where, where are the stars?

2008-03-14T14:52:00.001+01:00

The one that we used to call ours
Can't imagine it now
We used to laugh 'til we fell down.
The secrets we had, are now in the past
From something to nothing, tell me,

How did we lose our way?
It's hard to remember
All that we shared
Now we both have separate lives
From lovers to strangers, now alone
There's no one catching my fall
No one to hear my call
It's like I never loved you at all.

Now you're so far away
And I see our star is fading
One too many times
Guess it just got tired of waiting round.
The nights that we thought, if these walls could talk
From something to nothing, tell me,

How did we lose our way?
It's hard to remember
All that we shared
Now we both have separate lives
From lovers to strangers, now alone
There's no one catching my fall
No one to hear my call
It's like I never loved you at all.

So now does (s)he give you love
Is it only me now that's thinking of what we had and what we were
Or did you ever care?

Baby, was I ever there?

It's just one of those evenings, I guess,

2008-03-09T15:28:00.002+01:00

where I wanna just leave all this mess behind and climb up a big big tree and just watch the stars.

I'll bring a nice big fluffy blanky with Ben and Jerry, and wear a nice fuzzy sweater.
and a telescope.

and rainbow cookies.

yea, if only there was a tree to climb.

painful reminisce.

2008-03-04T15:01:00.001+01:00

-

Yes, I could tell you his favourite colour's green
He loves to argue, oh and it kills me
His sister's beautiful, He has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I loved him,

I'd lie.

my memory is cruel.

2008-02-23T16:07:00.002+01:00

cause i can't forget all the times, all the words, all the ways you made me feel like I was a star in the night sky.

It's killing me, so just kill me. Please.

comforted.

2008-02-22T06:31:00.001+01:00

sweet wrappers fall out of the sky
I'm in my jacket again, and you knew I'd be
cold in the sun.
as always.

today i sat in a hole in the wall
and watch the moon, cause it
reminds me of you, yea
in a painful sort of way.
cause I kept praying I'd see you
and you'd meet me on the last train home.

before, when other's saw it, oh
I'd say, hey that's for me, yea.
you see that? That's to me, yea.
it felt good.
but the climax has died out and
how I long for them again.

the wind's starting to pick up
every piece of me.
you ask me where I've fallen.
no, not in love, definitely.

I could.

2008-02-10T16:39:00.000+01:00

I could just sit here and cry, thinking of all you made me think of, and all you made me feel.

But, I choose not to. Because I'm not like you.

Instead, I could just sit here and laugh, because I've conquered you, all of you. Every single piece of you that was buried in my soul.

I was your outlet for angst, and you were mine. But once you shut me out, I've done the same. I'm glad I could be of service, but I've got to move on. I can't keep dreaming of you like this forever.

You used me, hurt me and broke me. But now, I'm whole again.

And I could just sit here and look at my screen, knowing -at the other end of this network-
you haven't got a clue.

And yea, that meant you went back on your word, bitch.

Distract.

2008-02-07T16:27:00.000+01:00

got tissue and hot tea for
stopping the flu
but nothing can stop me from thinking of you

got band-aids and plasters for
stopping the bleed
but nothing can stop me from wanting to need

got a painkiller or two for
stopping the pain
but nothing can stop me from feeling the rain

got a pillow and radio for
stopping the sounds
but nothing can stop me from walking these grounds

got a broken song written for
stopping my heart
but nothing can stop it from feeling this part.

Away.

2008-02-05T16:39:00.000+01:00

Don't worry, babe
Touch, sight are sound asleep.
We won't miss a thing.
Not one moment of what we were where
the sun would never set.
The sun has set
on us.
But don't worry, babe
We won't miss a thing.
Not one day I thought not of you and
now I think not of
how I once thought.
But don't worry, babe.
I won't miss you,
and we won't miss a thing.

and I hate that I love you so.

How?

2008-01-26T04:24:00.000+01:00

I know everything's in God's hands, part of his big plan,
I should just let him steer me out of doubt,
But why do I find it so hard to move on.

so many things to tell you
but i havent got the guts to.
Besides, it's hard to forget all the times you made me laugh when I didn't even want to smile.

Like a rose.

2008-01-15T15:02:00.000+01:00

Though any other breath, the silence kills
one sigh, will fly away
my burning tears, burning bright;
my forever love will conquer all
and all that's ours is more than great
the greatest love of all.

But our future will be bleak.

As any other rose, my love will
one day, will wilt away
his greying years, greying light;
his soft red cheeks will dim and fall
and all that's left is nothing much
nothing much at all.

and the mayhem fails to cease.

Don't you remember,

2008-01-09T06:05:00.000+01:00

peanut butter and jelly sanwiches,
sunshine and starshine,
blackberry and rasberry jam,
similiar toe infections,
how you'd give me 80891 pink roses,
how you'd beg me not to pout,
how I'd beg you not to leave,
our tree that we'd climb,
that you'd scratch yourself on,
how I'd hand you band-aids for your booboos,
how we'd run away and still be here,
how you'd swallow virtually anything,
dynamite, a whole cliff, candycanes,
when you'd compliment me unnecessarily,
and I'd blush,
and you'd do it again,
"what's green and has 4 wheels?"
"A frog. I lied about the wheels."
all the racist jokes,
how you were sad and I could tell,
and I wrote you a poem about seabirds and sky,
and I'd draw you pictures of our tree,
and you, me and patrick star,
fruigetables: orange pumpkins and tomatoes,
how the moon was a special place to us,
how I'd concuss myself on cookie monster's eyeballs,
and you'd laugh,
and you'd pick up basketballs with one hand,
and I'd try and you'd laugh,
cause my hands were too small,
how you'd never let me touch your hair,
how we laughed at pokemon costumes,
and how the actors danced, especially the chicken one,
how you told me I was beautiful,
and I never believed you,
when I'd cry, you'd comfort,
when I had nightmares, you'd comfort too,
how you'd fart and I'd go hahahahahahahahahhaha,
how we never get to say 'good night',
how you'd suddenly, out of the blue,
text me and say the moon reminded you of me,
and how we once were.
How I went away,
and we drifted apart,
how you couldn't find the words anymore,
how "she'd fucking scream her fucking ass off at you",
how short they've have become,
how I can't face you this way,
and how you can't remember.

everything we had is no longer there.
If it was there in the first place.

Maybe baby, we've got it all wrong.

2008-01-07T14:44:00.000+01:00

This post shall be a series of random lines that sum up certain feelings I've had recently, or particular thoughts I've harboured for some time. Don't ask me what they represent, cause I'm having trouble understanding them, myself.

I've never been this close to anyone or anything //
I don't know how you do what you do
(I'm so in love with you).
The way you whisper in the dark.

I've always needed time on my own.
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry //
I've never felt this way before;
Everything that I do reminds me of you. //
I love the things that you do.

Baby, you're my favourite waste of time.

I've been thinking everyday about you
Don't fit anywhere into my life, but that's okay
'Cause I think I might be right for you
And because of that, I'm not scared at all
And everyone says I'm crazy
And everyone says I'm a fool //
Please don't leave me standing
With my heart in my hand
I can't last here
I'm breaking down,
And no on understands why I got here
But I knew from the very first moment
That I met you
You'd be the one
Would you meet me by the water tonight
Would you please fall asleep
Holding my hand
'Cause I've got everything in store for you, baby

I know a place where we can hide out
And turn our hearts inside out
They won't know who we are.

I wonder if you know that's how I feel
about you
I hope you know,
Cause I have so much love for you,
do with it what you will
And I have nothing more to prove,
say to me what you will.
Say, say it again. //
And I hope you feel the same way too
(about me.)

There's no rain, there's no storm
Though the blue sky makes you wonder. //
Sure enough, seasons change
But don't let today get lost
'Cause today the sun's on us.

I think I lost my mind
Back there and then
Oh, how I let my feelings go.

And we can only hope for a brainwash.

Good Enough - Evanescence

2007-12-31T09:59:00.001+01:00

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.

Just Like Heaven - Katie Melua

2007-12-29T15:21:00.001+01:00

Many nights ago, I had a dream that left me uncertain where this would lead me eventually and shocked at my own warped imagination. And yet, it felt extremely real, like it already happened and I felt extremely happy, in a weird sort of way. And today, I've finally found a song that represents it. Almost word for word.

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed his face and kissed his head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make him glow
Why are you so far away? he said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you

You, soft and only
You,lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe his name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only boy I loved
And drowned him deep inside of me

You, soft and only
You, lost and lonely
You, just like heaven.

Just like heaven.

unfounded.

2007-12-26T18:56:00.000+01:00

When we whisper in the dark
you set my summer song on fire
every word sends me falling
right off the side of the world.
(I do not know what is said yet, for
the prayers I make are dim.)

This love that's out of reach
ominous, shrouded
way beyond our grasp.
It is this love we so wish for
in time to come (but not so soon, love.)

But all the world can carry on without us
for all we need is this(love
which we do not know as yet.)

I find solace where you are
(I still cannot say where that is)

and I promise,
speechless you shall be.

Sober - Kelly Clarkson

2007-12-24T03:25:00.000+01:00

And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely

So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all these fears weighed on me

3 months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flower
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn, but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry bout my timing
I wanna get it right
No comparing, second guessing
No, not this time.

Not this time.

Before your love - Kelly Clarkson

2007-12-17T12:36:00.000+01:00

I wonder how I ever made it through a day
How did I settle for the world in shades of gray
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same
And you don't know why
And I looked into your eyes
Where the road stretched out in front of me
And I realized

I'd never lived
Before your love
I'd never felt
Before your touch
And I'd never needed anyone
To make me feel alive
But then again,
I wasn't really livin'
I'd never lived
Before your love

I wanted more than just an ordinary life
All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky
I stand before you and my heart is in your hands
And I don't know how
I'd survive without your kiss
Cuz you've given me
A reason to exist.

After the Rain.

2007-12-12T09:29:00.000+01:00

On this side of Earth where it doesn't snow,
We don't need the ember's gentle glow.

In this part of the world where winter is warm,
We stay indoors in a tropical storm.

Over here, there's no need for coats and gloves;
Sunshine and rain are what fall from above.

No, in this place we call our home,
The only warmth we need is our own.

Here, the cold we know is pain
And the warmth we long for is after the rain.

Few and far between.

2007-12-08T17:37:00.000+01:00

You (few) readers are probably people I don't know, unless you're a friend and got linked here from my blog. But in any case, I'm sorry if my poems (and choice lyrics) lately have been very strangely affiliated with 'love' or rather, the absence of that four-lettered word. These are mostly poems from the past 3 months, where I have probably written more than ever. Sorry if they're really angsty. They're from the bottom of my heart.

You said you loved me, or at least that's what I heard
But every time you were around me, you never said a word
You'd never watch a sunset with me, you never held my hand
Talked about it all day long, now I finally understand

You never loved me (you just said it cause you felt obliged)
You never touched me (you said you wanted to, you lied)
You never heard me crying for an hour or two
You never understood what I meant to you.

Pounding my fist on the bathroom floor
Screaming my heart out, wanting more, tearin out
The pages of my diary, drenched with tears
Plagued with discursive nightmares and fears
of you, and its killing me just thinking of
you

You followed me home every day after school, like a
dog, on a leash, never barked at me (just played dead)
like a goldfish that I overfed with ignorance and now you're
Saying its my fault (like you did before)

But I can't help but think this is one overplayed scene
In my mind, and I'm drawing the curtains of all we used to be
Of every memory
Of you and me.

Ignorance.

2007-12-06T03:09:00.000+01:00

If I screamed at a flower,
and I said:
Bloom! Bloom for me!
Would it obey, or just
wilt and decay.

If I called to a cloud,
and I said:
Cry! Cry for me!
Would it comply, or just
tumble off astray.

If I yelled at the sky,
and I said:
Shine! Shine for me!
Would it listen, or just
darken its day.

If I knelt by your heart,
and I whispered:
Love; Love me, my sweet.
Would it understand, or just
leave me today.

Loved by you - Natasha Bedingfield

2007-12-03T07:57:00.000+01:00

Do I look different?
Won't be surprised if I did
Cause it isn't that often
that someone affects me quite like this

And there's only one to blame
that I've been all rearranged
and if it's showing on my face, that's because

Somebody loves me
more than I thought was possible
Somebody's changed me
and it's you that's responsible
you gave me your heart
don't need anymore evidence that I'm loved

Somebody gets me
and it's not just coincidence
somebody's for me
and it makes all the difference
you gave me your heart
Don't need anymore evidence that I'm loved
by you

Cause I'm changed
for the better
I'm changed for good
I'm changed for the better
I'm changed for good

The world's lookin' sunny
Cause that's what you do for me

Somebody loves me
more than I thought was possible
Somebody's changed me
and it's you that's responsible
you gave me your heart
don't need anymore evidence that I'm loved

Somebody gets me
and it's not just coincidence
somebody's for me
and it makes all the difference
you gave me your heart
Don't need anymore evidence that I'm loved
by you

I'm loved by you.

If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield

2007-11-25T09:48:00.000+01:00

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side.

where I wanna take you.

2007-11-16T13:24:00.000+01:00

I wanna take you to a place that means a lot to me, its
on a bridge, near my second home in S'hertogenbosch, its
cold, but I'll be there to hold your hands, its
beautiful, with willows on both banks of the river, its
quiet, where we'll whisper wishes fervent, its
where the sky shines, always and forever, its
how I want to feel, always and forever, its
where I wanna take you.

Every time.

2007-11-13T13:31:00.000+01:00

Every time I think about what we had,
I want to cry,
But I don't. I've realised
How stupid I was to fall for
Your jokes, your gestures,
Your treats, your kindness,
Your smile.

Every time I think about where it went,
I want to cry,
But I don't. I can't believe
How it was so abrupt, and how
You still acted like nothing
Changed, you still
Did it normally, like you normally did.
Classmate. Girlfriend.
Ex-girlfriend.

Every time I think about what you said,
I want to cry,
But I don't. You never
Made me anything, only this once:
You folded me a paper heart after
I folded you one first, and when
I folded you a second the following week,
You didn't fold one back. I recall,
You said "Huh? Another one?"
It tore my real heart apart.

And now
Every time I think about what we had,
Where it went,
What you said,
And everything I thought we could be,
I want to cry,
But I don't. Because
I won't.

dedications.

2007-09-28T11:55:00.000+02:00

First, for a friend, once a stranger. By chance, two tired souls met and found such great likeness between the two. This friend is a great one, and Lord I am grateful for him.

Keen.
The seabird's calls echo in the sky.
His sadness shows, like the moon on a sleepless night
The sky feels so much more
She can feel all his pain, held in the heart of the storm.

The seabird doesn't dare to cry.
But the sky knows, and will damn the careless flight
For the seabird can now soar
On the breath of a wing, keen to the eye of the storm.

Secondly, for a girl with a beautiful mind, only out to find herself, and in the process give many others the spirit to continue through life's obstacles. She's a beautiful soul.

That girl I knew.
That girl I knew was a delicate thing
Like the band that ran out of songs to sing
Not knowing what to make of everything
the multiple encores and perpetual applause
remind them of the 'whys' and 'because'
That girl I knew had sensitive flaws

That girl I knew had a beautiful smile
Like a sparrow in spring, she'll just stay a while
To live off the land, but never to rile
And it won't be long till she starts to soar
Away from this life, for a little something more
That girl I knew was one I adored

That girl I knew
Is you.

Disclaimer: If you chance upon any of my poems here, please do not steal them because they are written with heartfelt words and if you're just looking for a decent poem to pass off as yours in a literature project or something of the sort, Leave this place, you lowly bovine excretion.

2007-09-06T15:22:00.000+02:00

Love is a many splendoured thing.
Love lifts us up where we belong.

Love is a lie.
Love is a mask.
Love is ignorant and insensitive.
Love is painful.
Love is non-existent.

I knew a girl.

2007-04-11T04:55:00.000+02:00

(Dedicated to a friend of mine, who's thought me how to find the simplest of happiness in the darkest moments of our teenage time.)

I knew a girl.

I knew a girl
crestfallen, no doubt
but still had little bouts
of happiness about
her, in her smile.

like a rose, given no room to bloom.
no doubt, grown with love,
oh, but suppressed by it.
the suffocation of it.

she loves the woods,
and its many beauties.
in all its hundred-acred glory.
fiction of imagination, no doubt.
but every inch as real
as they seem.
perhaps it is this freedom of the wood,
that bounce of joy
she has envy for.

I am not sure, but this girl is my friend.
And I'll try my best to be so, till the end.

2006-12-09T04:30:00.000+01:00

I'll stand on the edge of the world
and spread my arms
and close my eyes

I'll run away from everything
from chaos
from havoc
and stand in the sunlight
drowning everything in the most splendid of gold
brown, hazel and bronze

And you'll be there with me
holding my hand
and I'll turn around and look at you
and see

those weathered hands
those chapped lips
those quivering fingers on my dusted brow
those rambling thoughts

that warm breath on my cheeks
that tingling trickle down my neck
that fire in your eyes
that burning smile

your misty eyes in mine
your misty eyes are mine
your arms around my waist
hold me
never let me go
as I dream of you
and I
forever

but what is dreamt may never be
as in my darkest fears you'll see
I was once yours and you, once mine
perhaps we will again in time{?}

Threshold.

2006-11-22T14:50:00.000+01:00

I've passed the point where cigarettes help
to ease the stinging pain
I've jumped the heartbreak hurdle once
and all over again

I've passed the point where alcohol
can't take away your stress
I've stopped the need to materialize
and wanting to impress

Because right now, Here I am
The real me you know

I've passed the point where pain is real
where love is just a fantasy
My life has crossed the final threshold
where nothing and everything
means nothing and everything
to me

I've just about given up on
everything you've said
the promises you emptied from the
echos in your head

Because right now, Here I am
The real me you know

Is always here, you know

Thoughtfully.

2006-11-08T11:15:00.000+01:00

I'm lying on my bed, face-down.
I've got my feet pointing to the ceiling.
Tired of pretending, and running around.
It's hard to tell you exactly how I'm feeling.

So come on, get up, get outside
We're going for a ride
to a place we've almost always never been to
Please follow me and hold the wheel
while I run my fingers through your hair one last time.

Take of your shoes and follow me.
I won't let go of your hand.
Together we'll go to a place far away
where we don't have to pretend.

So come on, get up, get outside
We're going for a ride
to a place we've almost always never been to
deep inside your heart.
Please listen to me and close your eyes
While I run my fingers through your hair one last time.
one last time.

One last time
I'll hold your hand
I'll kiss your lips
I'll tell you oh how much I love you
and we don't have to pretend

That we're running away, this time,
We're going for a ride
to a place we've almost always never been before
Just stay with me forever more
while I run my fingers through your hair
one last time.

2006-11-05T14:34:00.000+01:00

2006-10-27T16:16:00.000+02:00

Yes. it is complete.

Mr. Bus Driver.

2006-10-19T15:11:00.000+02:00

Every morning, he’s up at five
Goes out for a lonely drive
But who said loneliness was cool
When you have to take thirty kids to school?

He turns the key, the giant grunts
And gurgles, snorts and spurts
As through the early morning dark,
The pattering rain and dirt,
The giant whispers silent creeps
Waking children from their sleeps.

The giant stops every now and then
To pick up student one to ten
Then goes on down the bumpy road
Croaking like a giant toad
Searching for eleven and twelve
Grunting by its lonely self.

As sleepy children board the bus,
They fall asleep again.
But energetic rascals scream
And talk and shout and yell
That all the way from home to school,
You’re riding right through hell.

But as these noisy children play
And talk about their ‘to-be’ day
None can see the old man steer
The giant bus he holds so dear.

No one sees him yawn a little.
No one hears his sigh, so brittle.
No one counts his grey-white hair.
No one thinks he’s really there.
No one stops to thank the man.
No one tries to understand.

And as the children leave the bus cluttered,
No one stops to even mutter
No one notices he’s there.
No one stops; no one cares.

But the man is strong; he takes it well.
Was that a yawn? You couldn’t tell.

She's back.

2006-10-12T13:18:00.000+02:00

Oh yea.

freedom.

2006-08-18T16:04:00.000+02:00

The birth of a dreamer’s dream, no prayers went unheard
The hopes for a man’s freedom, said without a word.
What pain, what shame, what gushing blood, what streaming burning tears
May flow from eyes and heart and soul from hollow empty fears
The mellow calls of distant voice is all too clear to see
That loom, the great hulk stoops and calls the freedom seeker – me.

Got it all wrong.

2006-08-08T13:14:00.000+02:00

They got it all wrong;
I’m sipping from the edge of my cup,
In this nightmare, hoping I’ll wake up.
My socks are itching
My heart is wishing
That they’ll realize they’ve got it all wrong.

You’ve got it all wrong;
The tall and the pretty
Aren’t always smart and witty
They’re just always flirty
Thinking and talking dirty
Thinking they’ve not got it wrong.

He’s got it all wrong;
My weight is not a problem
I’m heavy but I’m awesome
She’ll love you so much less,
But still I’m second best.
Cause you’ve got it all wrong.

She’s got it all wrong;
My skirt’s not long; I’m short.
If my socks aren’t high, I’ll get caught
Just cause you’re a bimbo too
I’ll be labeled one of you
Cause you’ve got it all wrong.

We’ve got it all wrong
Who said tobacco’s the in thing
When it’s the one behind the killing
Whilst you puff in delight,
You’ll be in for a fright
Once you realized you got it wrong.

I got it all wrong.
I thought love was a mystery
But now it’s all history
And I’m still here praying
With hopes that you’re staying
Right here with me all night long.
I’m praying I didn’t get it wrong.

Window to the World - another Jooleebean production

2006-07-22T12:47:00.000+02:00

Window - 1. An opening in the wall or roof of a building so that light may pass and people can see in and out.

Windows are our eyes to the world. They help us see what we don't, say what we don't and feel what we don't. Not many of us can take the time to stop by a window and look in( or out) and take a moment to appreciate how others look and feel. It might be enlightening or depressing, beautiful or unsightly, evoking or provoking, offensive or welcomed. It all depends on what you see.

Window to the World is a Jooleebean Production that aims to evoke feelings amongst the 'pausers', souls who stop to see what's in these windows. This delicate collection of fragile pictures capture what is human eye cannot see, but what the human heart can feel : Stories of love, hate, courage, fear, pain, joy, anger, happiness, sorrow, relief, tears and laughs, and so much more you can imagine. These stories aim to stimulate you, the pauser, and give you an insight to these people and the lives they lead.

[coming soon... please tag.]

Letting go.

2006-07-02T17:11:00.000+02:00

When I open my eyes and look to the skies
I can see the clouds rolling by
Orange and pink, they settle and sink
As the thought of you crosses my mind

I rode on my bike, and pedaled that night
Passing person by person, light by light.
And she put her hand ‘round you, I found it hard to
Stand, it felt like eternity.

And yea, I know you’re not mine
And I know I’m not yours
But to see her touch you
And see you two so close
I cannot stand
When she’s holding your hand
And she never lets you go

She comes up to me, with absolute glee
Like she didn’t do anything wrong
She talks with no end, as if I’m her friend
And doesn’t realize how much I love you

I can tell that she flirts, with the sky and the dirt
And every other boy in between
But what can I say?
“Yea, I’m okay.”
How much longer do I have to lie?

Because I know you’re not mine
And I know I’m not yours
But to see her touch you
And see you two so close
I cannot stand
When she’s holding your hand
And she never lets you go.

You probably don’t know how I feel about you
But I don’t mind, as long as I find
A way to see you everyday
I’ll be okay.
(At least if)

You are not mine
And I am not yours
When I see her touch you
And see you two so close
I’ll be okay, cause I’ll
Just turn away
And pray
That some day, She’ll let you go.

What If.

2006-06-29T13:21:00.000+02:00

[I know no one actually reads this blog often. So heck. This one's to that secret person who probably doesn't know. Here's just saying 'what if'. It's from the bottom of my heart, so I hope it touches.]

What if I love the way you smile;
the way you make it all worth while?

What if I want to feel your kiss;
feel it make my heart feel this?

What if I want to touch the sky
and gently feel the clouds roll by?

What if I love you way too much
that I can't live a day without your touch?

What if I want you by my side
in the rolling thunder and falling tide?

What if the best that I can do
is just to love you as you?

What if I told you how I feel?
Would you make me feel as real?

What if I want to hold you close
and hear your heart where it beats the most?

What if I want to be your girl;
Want to be inside your world?

What if I'll love you so much more?
would you find loving me a chore?

What if I love you and never get bored?
Will you be my forever chord?

What if I'm a tad too shy?
Would you let my love go by?

What if I love you so true,
there isn't a day I don't think of you?

What if to be only yours I pray?
Then I'll fervently pray to see that day.

Only yours.

2006-06-10T15:30:00.000+02:00

I would send a dozen roses to your doorstep
I would fly a thousand miles to see your face
There’s no telling how much more I could have given
Before you left; So take up your grace

And follow me back to where we once sat
Under the stars, where we
Watched the sun wake up and
Painted our names in the sky
That very sky that clouds float by
And sang through shine and rain
Don’t leave me in my dream, alone
Please stay with me
I want to be only yours

But all I see when I look at clouds are stormy greys
And now I’m crying raindrops from above
But I rolled the dice and got unlucky numbers
In this stupid game called love

So follow me back to where we once sat
Under the stars, where we
Watched the sun wake up and
Painted our names in the sky
That very sky that clouds float by
And sang through shine and rain
Don’t leave me in my dream, alone
Please stay with me
I want to be only yours

Christmas tribute.

2005-12-08T15:07:00.000+01:00

(Christmas is coming. Prepare for the coming of our lord.)

Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the new born king

One this quiet peaceful night
The northern star shone bright
And guide the wise kings one by one
To the saviour in his manger throne

Mary purest stood by him
Whilst the wind blew cold and grim
The ass warmed the lord with its breathe
As the tiny king laid down and rest

Sheperd led his cattle in
To see the lord, in starlight dim
Bowed down and praised the lord on high
As gentle clouds came rolling by

Herod sat and thought and pondered
Was this the king, he solemnly wondered
The messiah, a helpless newborn
Born in a manger, by wheat and corn.

He sent forth all his men to kill
All newborns against their will
To whole of Bethlehem was stained in blood
But still little Jesus was not heard

God told Joseph in a dream
To take his family ‘cross the stream
‘Cross the land, away from cries
To escape from evil Herod’s lies

Till this day we treasure dear
This night where the sky was crisp and clear
The night where Mary all forlorn
Gave us Jesus; Our king was born.

sweet starry night.

2005-12-08T14:46:00.000+01:00

( Inspiration from the Soo Kee jewelry ad song. Really nice. Love it. Though, I'm not the best romantic poet. But I tried =) .)

Quietly, the starlight glows
And glistens on the lake
Softly, the cool breeze blows
Embrace this peaceful hour

Lightly, the songbird sings
That ominous tune so dark
Gently, the raindrops fall
Kissing the lake fervent

Sweetly, the lovers romance
With such fire and ardour
Tenderly, he plays
The cello, as she listens

Swiftly, they caress
Each other as the moon watches
Closely, they both lie
Under the sky of crying stars

Slowly, the sun begins to rise
And paints the earth in hues
Tingly, the water trickles
And the songbird calls out strong

Surely, the dark night dies
The voice of the cello is scarce
Maybe, that voice will sing
Once again this sweet starry night

When the stars are ours alone.

mattress surfing

2005-11-21T12:18:00.000+01:00

(Inspiration from MATTRESS SURFING!!! SO freaking COOL. haha. )

Sitting at the top of the wooden stairs
The riders of the night prepared
To launch
Their stallion
Down the Rocky Mountains
Across the harsh terrains
To make it to the land of fluff
And so, with joyful spirits, they plunged into vertical terror.
From that exact moment the aircraft tilts
Against the laws of gravity,
That sudden rush of anxiety is quickly replaced
With a fast-beating heart.
And at that exhilarating moment one might say
It feels like you could touch the ends of the earth.
Gravity is stubborn
And pulls the riders
On to sure death
But a twist of fate,
When the stallion lands on gentle fluff,
The rider’s heart is still
Palpitating against his chest.

fairytale

2005-11-13T15:33:00.000+01:00

In the land of mystery
And misery
There’s a place beyond your wildest reveries
To a world beyond audacity and forebode
To a palace of stairs of halls of rooms
Where wine flows out of river mouths
And fruit fall from the highest heavens
The royal lofts are lined with purple velvet --
A sure sign of royalty.

As the princess dwells in such splendour
The peasant girl has spent her last penny
On half a bowl of gruel
In such a world so cruel
Where rainwater is honoured
And gruel is expected
For supper.

At the end of the day
The peasant girl is welcomed
By her humble pile of straw
And is rewarded with aching ankles
And nothing for tomorrow.

As the princess lays in her quarters with nothing to do
The peasant girl lays still in the cold of the night.

Young lad's oath

2005-11-07T16:05:00.000+01:00

(This was written out of sheer boredom, as well as sudden inspiration from joel. Thank you ah kit!)

nobody could count the youths
who paid their lives for the country
to count longer days

The lad held her hand and whispered in her ear
What sorry words she dread to hear
That through the snow the wind and rain
He’d probably never see her again
Torrents of tears flowed fast and free
While crowds cheered on and screamed with glee
That these brave young men would go forth and fight

That young girl’s cry shattered the night

For her lover gone forth, never to return
Lest the enemies were kind; no fear to burn

She’d never see his light blue eyes
He’d never hear her mournful cries

From out there on the battlefield
He’d give his life for his country’s pride

For the gove’ment lied
And the maiden cried

For the youth’s march on to death

Pray dear friends you’re darling’s life
Be not destined as such.

Breakfast of Love

2005-10-29T05:49:00.000+02:00

(This was composed for my mother on her recent Birthday. Happy birthday mum)

Sunlight pours
Coffee brews
Toast in hand
Morning news

Butter and jam
Knife and spoon
Turkey ham
Not yet noon

Pearl-white dish
Off-white mug
Spread the love
Give a hug

Sugar and milk
Food so true
Day so right
I love you.

Life is full

2005-10-21T16:11:00.000+02:00

(written from unknown source of inspiration.)

Why do I even bother, when I know what the answer will be?
Even though they seem so wrong, I hang on in spite of me?
I cling on to hopes and dreams and very often pray
That maybe, just maybe, Things will be ok.

I keep to aspirations and try to soar up high.
I try to learn new things to find out who and where and why.
But even though, deep down I know, some things will always be,
I hold on to whatever seems more than good to me.

But sometimes life lets me down, and shatters me to dust.
After falling, I get up; I know this is a must.
Life can be so kind and yet so cruel and depressed,
But we must all have faith in Him because he knows what’s best.

He will give us Good in Bad, and Bad in Good because
In life, if there are no ups and downs, just what is the cause?
To all life’s joys and pains and tears, to happy times and sad,
When life seems at its worst, hey, it ain’t that bad!

Just remember what you know, and keep to your beliefs.
There’s nothing stronger than your will if only you believe.
After which you will find, a place inside your heart,
That can conjure up the best of times, even in times of dark.

So don’t slow down, the world turns fast, it beckons you to grow.
To reach your full potential and be all you want to know.
You cannot change the past, dear friends, but what you can achieve,Is just to make, to build, to have, a future here with me.

god's sweetest angel.

2005-10-21T13:15:00.000+02:00

(This was written when in my darkest moment of fear, Jie came.)

As the child of God rest her head,
The Devil stole her mind
And ransacked her imagination, and found
A fear derived from darkness;
A forsaken thought.
Oblivious to the world and he,
She dreamt of friends and fun.
The Devil then planted all that fear
Into her heart, so small
And watched her heart turn bleak.
Her happy dreams were drained
And replaced with so much worse;
Thoughts that made one crumble.
As the moon hung high,
The girl awoke from the nightmare of darkness.
The tears she shed were not in vain
For God had heard her cry.
He then sent down his best angel
To combat the despondency;
To drain the melancholy;
To restore colour and faith
In the dispirited child of God.
The angel came in slumbering linen,
Hemmed in silver and gold,
Wrapped to crystal hearts,
Enfolded the dearest of sisters
To free the enervated soul.

lost without you

2005-10-21T13:09:00.001+02:00

(This poem was written as a way of showing the confusion I felt when a close friend lost touch with me. )

My life without you is like
A guide without a compass;
A candle with no light;
A world with only pain and fear;
A day with only night;
Without you
My world is in black and white;
Like a silent movie
Everybody’s clueless;
Just acting.
Acting.

Please point me to your heart.
Relight my candle of faith.
Be my dreamy dawn of day.

escape.

2005-10-21T13:07:00.000+02:00

(This was written out of sheer boredom and my love for nature. Till this day, it is one of my best and favourite poems.)

Crestfallen youth, escape from the urban rush
Run away with me to the woods of ageless hours

Child of the universe
Touch the sky with your palm

Feel the rain on your cheeks
Feel the ground beneath your feet shudder in delirium
Feel the sand between your toes
Feel the song of nature enthrall and captivate you

Engulf yourself in the rhythm of the wind
And let your mind embark on a journey through time and space

Drift away a trickling stream
On a maple leave of gold

Swim through the cascaded fronds

Gossip with the fledglings
And whisper with the birch and pine

Run forever through the evergreen coppice

Before you return to reality, promise me
You’ll come back to nature

Sometime again.